Merry Little Christmas Joy
by toyatezuka
Summary: Life is not what everyone expects it to be but a little miracle can change everything and turn life's to full of brightness. Since it Christmas, a little miracle might just be possible. Warning: Mpreg, Slash
1. Chapter 1

Title: Merry Little Christmas Joy (Part 1)

Author: toyatezuka

Beta: deej1957

Characters: Dean/Sam, John, Bobby

Warning: Mpreg, Slash

Summary: Life is not what everyone expects it to be but a little miracle can change everything and turn life's to full of brightness. Since it Christmas, a little miracle might just be possible.

Message: Make this specially for acidquill. I really pray that you love it (crossed my finger). LOL. I tried my best to put in a lot of angst just like you request and of course a happy ending. Have a happy holiday!

P.S. This is for you too, Deanlives, for bringing us the joy of this 'Mpreg Secret Santa', this Christmas and the person that introduce mpreg world to me. Love you for that.

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Dean's love has always been the best Christmas present I've ever received in my whole life. Dean is always there whenever I need him. Yes, he can be 'loving' but don't think that he never gets angry because when he does, (laughing) you for sure don't want to be anywhere near him. To make it simpler for those who are reading this, Dean is my heart and soul.

I still remember the last Christmas we had together. It was a turmoil that we'll never forget for the rest of our life. Yes, it was painful, difficult journey for both of us, but it was all worth it; that was when Joy Mary Winchester came into our life. This is the story of my life before Joy made her present to the world, and this is how it all began…

_4 weeks before Christmas _

Dean climbed down the stairs slowly, putting almost all his body weight against the railing to support him. A few drops of sweat were dripping down his face. By the time he was halfway down the stairs, he was already sweaty and breathing irregularly. He slowly slid down with his back pressing against the railing and rubbed his swollen belly in circular motion to lessen the pain that was starting to get more intense.

"Dean!" Sam shouted, shocked to see Dean looking so pale and in pain. Sam quickened his steps and was by Dean's side in a flash. Without any questions asked, he helped Dean up and put him on the sofa, slowly laying him down.

Sam snatched the nearest tissue box and took out a few tissues, wiping away Dean's sweats. After a few minutes passed, Dean's breathing slowly became regular and his scrunched face gradually began to relax. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at Sam.

"Thought I'd be able to make it down the stairs by myself, but it seems I'm too weak to do even do that simple thing. How pathetic can I be?" He scoffed at himself.

"Dean, don't," Sam said in a no nonsense tone. "Don't mock yourself that way. You're weak because you're pregnant. But all of this will go away soon. So please, for the baby's and my sake, just try to fight it," he begged. Dean looked away from his brother's face when a single tear dropped from Sam's eye.

"It going to take years for me to be back to normal, Sam, and you know that. That's if I survive after I give birth. The chance of me being alive after that is only 40, Sam, and there's nothing you can do about that. I'm going to dead soon so you better just accept the truth so that it will be less painful." Dean painfully poured out all the things he been keeping in his mind for so long.

That's when Sam really broke down. He sobbed quietly, trying to swallow the tears while listening to Dean pouring it all out. But when Dean asked him to give him up, just like that, that was when he was finally unable to stop the tears from coming out.

He pressed his face hard against the couch, trying to cover the heart wrenching sound that was coming out of his mouth. He'd been trying to pretend that everything was going to be just fine, that the doctor had made a mistake, and Dean was going to live.

But all the hoping for miracle to happen was crushed immediately after Dean finally admitted that he was not going to be alive for long. The truth was finally sinking in and it was unbearable for Sam to consider.

"Please Dean. Just don't leave me yet. I can't bear the thought of you leaving me so soon. I'm begging you, Dean. Don't go." Sam looked up at Dean with pleading eyes that were red from crying for so long.

Dean wiped away the tears from Sam's face. It broke Dean's heart to see Sam like this and it was unacceptable that he'd actual caused it. He cursed to himself. Why couldn't he just shut his mouth instead? Damn, now he'd really done it. It was so painful for him to hear the heart breaking cries from Sam. He'd rather kill himself than to cause Sam pain.

"I'm really sorry for even thinking of giving up, Sammy. I will never leave you. Ever." Dean grabbed hold of Sam's face so they were eye to eye. "Since I can't possibly trust you to change the baby diapers when the time comes, can I?" Dean teased his little brother in an attempt to lighten up the conversation.

Sam broke into a small smile after hearing that. "No, you can't." He answered with an enthusiasm that made Dean burst out laughing. Dean gave Sam a quick kiss at the resulting pout. "Don't pout Sammy. You just make yourself look cuter than scary," Dean confessed with a small chuckle.

"That not fair. You're supposed to console me instead of laughing at me," Sam whined like a little kid.

"Oh, my poor little baby," Dean said. Dean held his arms out inviting a hug. Sam, without hesitation, cuddled up to Dean.

After a few minutes of cuddling, Sam finally broke the silence. "Do you still remember the day when I tripped over my shoes?" he asked while rubbing Dean's belly.

"How could I forget something so important?" Dean answered. "I'll remember till the day I die. Do you know how funny that moment was? I could just…"

Before Dean could finish, Sam cut him off. "Let's just go up and sleep together. I'm tired and I'm not going to sit here just to give you the pleasure of teasing me again," Sam said, leaving no room for argument.

That just made Dean burst out laughing again. "Are you sure you're not the one pregnant here?' Dean asked.

"Dean!" Sam whined, breaking out from the cuddling position to look at Dean.

"Okay, fine. Let just turn in for the night." Dean finally stopped his playfulness, and held out his hand for Sam to pull him up from the couch. Sam led Dean to the bed and tucked him in, earning him another one of his big brother's smart remarks. "Gee, Sam, I'm not a little kid for you to tuck me in."

Sam just shook his head. Sam would never change that, because that's what makes Dean, Dean. And he would treasure every moment of it. While Sam lay down beside Dean, he couldn't help but recall the memory of the shoes story.

_The past._

"Damn it, Sam. How many times do I have to tell you to put your shoes away? Someone might just trip over those stupid things you called shoes. Do I have to remind you every time you get home from work?" Dean asked.

"Who could possibly trip over them? I mean, come on, Dean. Can't I at least get a hug from you?" Sam asked, while slowly making his way up to Dean who was standing at the kitchen doorway trying to look angry but ending up with a pout that just make him look more delicious in everyway. But before Sam able to reach Dean, he tripped over his shoes and fell face down with a big 'oomph'.

"SAM!" Dean shouted and rushed to Sam's side to help him out. "You okay, Sammy? Come on, let me help you get up," he added, wrapping his hands around Sam's waist. Together they made their way over to the couch.

With Dean's help, Sam sat down and, without warning, burst out laughing so hard that a couple of tears rolled down Sam's reddened cheeks. Dean couldn't help but laugh, too. t. "Sam, please stop laughing and tell me what's wrong? Is your head okay or did you hurt yourself during the fall?" He asked once Sam had cut down a little on his laughing.

"Don't you find it funny? I mean I'm the one who said 'who could possibly trip over the shoes'. And right after that I'm the one that falls. Oh Dean! I just love you, do you know that? I couldn't I live without you," Sam added while holding Dean's face between his two hands.

"I love you too, Sammy. And don't say I didn't warn you about the shoes because I did." Dean kept his face serious which made Sam burst out laughing again. After that accident, Sam made a habit of keeping his shoes in the corner, though Dean can't help but tease Sammy once in a while about it since he found it entertaining to see Sam blush over it.

_End of the past._

Sam finally slipped into a peaceful sleep with a silly smile on his face. Not long before that, Dean dreamed about the day he finally broke the news to Sam that he could get pregnant. Here it goes…

_Christmas night…_

Dean and Sam are sitting in front of the fireplace watching the flame dancing around inside. Sam tightens his hug while Dean snuggles deeper toward his body. They are just lazing around enjoying the moment of silence with Dean stealing a couple of quick kisses from Sam once in a while; something Sam doesn't mind at all.

"Sam, I have a little confession to make, since you know, it's Christmas and that's what people do, right?" Dean looks up at Sam with a serious look.

"What you want to confess?" Sam sits up a little straighter after seeing Dean is serious about this. "Are you going to break up with me?" Sam looks down at his brother with a scared expression while looking into Dean's eyes for answers.

"NO! How could you even think that? You know that I love you so much, right? And I for sure will not let the other guys or girls out there have any chance with you." Dean declares with the smug look on his face.

Sam immediately chuckles at that. "You're right, Dean. I'm only and always will be your rightful property," he says with a wide smile.

"Damn right you are!" Dean readily agrees, as if it were the most obvious answer to that question.

"Okay enough of this teasing around. Now tell me, what you been hiding inside your mind this time?" Sam asks, holding both of Dean hands in his two palms and waiting patiently for Dean to start talking.

"Ever since I was small dad's been hard on me. I've always been the one that has to do all the extra training every single day of my life as a kid. But I never argued, not even once, because I knew one day I would be strong enough to protect you from anything. At first I thought that maybe that's why dad trained me so hard, but that wasn't the reason. The truth is…" Dean stops talking and tries to take his hands away from Sam's hold, but that only make Sam tighten his grip.

"Dean, please tell me. I really want to share the burden with you. Take your time. I can wait." Sam begs Dean to continue instead of giving up. Sam knows if he lets go, Dean would forever keep this locked inside and shut Sam out completely. So all Sam needs to do is just hold on because that's what Dean needs the most now.

"I was born with the female inner parts inside me. Yes, I may look like a guy from the outside but I don't have what guys are supposed to have inside. I'm not normal I'm just a freak and I'm not like you. So if you're disgusted with me, I completely understand," Dean admitted.

Sam was in such shock that all he can do is stare at Dean, who's looking hurt by the silence. . Dean tires to pretend that it doesn't bother him, and while he may be good at concealing his emotions, Sam can tell Dean needs his support. Dean hands are cold and shaking uncontrollably and Sam grips them tighter.

A single tear escapes from Sam's left eye. He tries to cover it up before Dean sees it but his brother is already gently wiping the tear away. Dean looks at Sam, his eyes concerned.

"Dean. No matter how different you are, I will always love you. You're not a freak, in fact you're more perfect than I can ever imagine. So, please Dean, for my sake, don't express yourself with those words, ever, because you're better than you think you are." Sam voices out with all the determination he has.

"No wonder I love you so much, Sammy. You should look at yourself, talking like you were in court fighting a case," Dean smirks.

"Dean!" Sam says sternly.

"Okay." Dean surrenders and raises both hands. Then his expression changes to a serious one. "You don't know how much I worried, Sammy. I'm so scared that you just going to leave me after knowing the truth. Thank you so much for loving me." Dean smiles gratefully at Sam.

Sam gives Dean a tight hug. . It should be him who is grateful for having Dean in his life. He should have noticed it long time ago, this burden that Dean was keeping from him.

Sam keeps blaming himself in his head, and somehow Dean, being the big brother and lover, senses it and quickly adds, "It's not your fault, Sammy. Never was and never will be. Everything is fine now and that's all that matters."

Sam nods. "You're right. We're going to be just fine."

"Oh, before I forget. Your wish of having a child of our own may come true since I have all the necessary parts to carry a child," Dean blurts out.

"What?" Sam sits up abruptly.

"I can get pregnant, Sammy." Dean's smile slowly grows wider when he sees Sam's stunned face.

"We can have our own flesh and blood?" Sam whispers, still in shock.

"We sure can." Dean says proudly.

"Then what we waiting? Let's start making it now." Sam quickly grabs Dean and starts walking towards their room. With the lustful look Sam gives him, there's no way in hell Dean's going to object to that.

_End of dream_

Dean was woken up by the non-stop kicks he received from the baby. He looked at the clock beside while rubbing his belly to calm the baby; it read 5:30 am. He tossed and turned, trying to find the right position so that he could go back to sleep. .

Dean slowly get out of bed and went downstairs after he unable to go back to sleep. He managed to get to the kitchen chair before he collapsed. He stared at his belly, stroking it gently; he just couldn't believe that in a few days the baby was going to come. Then everything would be perfect, just Sam, him and the baby.

By the time Sam reached the kitchen, he could already smell fresh coffee and pancakes. He slowly calmed his nerves before wrapping his arms around Dean to give him a kiss. He bent further down to kiss Dean's belly and placed his ear against it, feeling a strong good kick from the inside.

"He's going to be a good soccer player once he grows up," Sam said with pride in his voice.

"How can you know the baby's a he and not a she? It may be a girl, you know," Dean answered back.

"Well, it's better to call the baby 'he' right, then to call it, 'it'," Sam replied, while helping Dean pour his juice into the class.

"I get the feeling the baby is going to be a girl. So you better start calling the baby 'she'," Dean said.

Sam, setting the table, replied back, "I think the baby is a 'he'. So I guess you're the one who has to call the baby 'he'."

"No, Sammy. The baby is a 'she'," Dean shouted.

Sam, surprised by Dean's outburst just stared back at him for a minute. "I don't care. I'm going to call the baby a 'he'."

"Want to bet on this Sammy?" Dean challenged.

Sam, without warning, shouts back. "This is silly. I can call the baby whatever I want. So back off. If you want to bet, then bring it on."

Dean turned away to hide his tears. He doesn't know what's happening to him this morning but it feels like something bad is going to happen soon, and Sam is not helping at all. "We see who wins." Dean replied back after he got his voice under control.

Sam was mad when he found out Dean was out of bed again when he woke up that morning. He'd already told Dean several times to leave the breakfast to him but Dean just didn't listen. Sam couldn't bring himself to scold his brother because he knew that Dean was just trying to help. But somehow, today was different.

Sam, who was not in the mood to be patient, threw Dean juice glass against the wall, shocking Dean who wasn't expecting that. "Fuck off, Dean. I'm seriously not in the mood for your hormone fight."

He left the kitchen and went to his bedroom, leaving the unhappy Dean in tears, preparing breakfast.

He went to the kitchen sink to wash away his tears, blaming himself for starting the fight. He'd already made the decision to apologize to Sam before Sam left for work.

Suddenly he heard the front door close with a loud 'bang', followed by Sam's car tearing out of the driveway. Even before Dean's able to make it to the door, Sam's gone.

He quickly picked up the phone to call Sam but all he could do was leave voice mail, the phone was switched off. "I'm really sorry for causing the stupid argument. It's so stupid of me and I hope you can find a place in your heart to forgave me for my mistake. Please, just call me back soon after you heard this message, okay?"

After a few minutes of pacing the room he called Sam back and left a second voice mail. "I know you're mad. Please just call me back. I really am sorry about this. Just please don't leave me, okay? I promise I won't fight with you anymore, so just please, come back home now." He was crying as he left the message; the thought of Sam leaving was unbearable.

Dean left tons of messages saying over and over again that he was sorry. He gave up after one hour and went to the kitchen to clean the breakfast away. In the middle of washing dished the door bell rang.

He quickly went to get the door thinking it was Sam. But his guess was wrong, because standing at his door right now was John Winchester.

"Dad! What are you doing here?" Dean was stunned by his father's sudden appearance. John looked his son up and down and paused to stare at the swollen stomach.

"Well, I guess the news is correct then. You managed to knock yourself up with your brother's child. Sam doesn't deserve you, or this Dean. He's staying here with you because he's the kind of guy that takes his duty seriously. I don't know how you can sleep at night after the way you've messed up Sam's life. I thought I taught you better, but I guess I was wrong. You're nothing but a slut. Sam would be happier without you in his life," John added with venom.

He left Dean standing there looking injured and wounded with the words his father said. The tears Dean had been trying to stop flowed down his face. He looked more distraught than he ever had in his life. He slowly closed the door behind him and went upstairs.

He climbed into bed and cuddled himself into a small ball as best he could with his belly in the way. He pulled up the blanket and covered himself while staring at the phone in his hand.

Dean looked calm, but on the inside, a volcano was going to irrupt soon. Was it because of the baby, was that what was making Sam stay with me instead of going to Stanford? I should have stopped this feeling of lust towards Sam long time ago. But I just had to keep it until it finally won and took over.

Yes, it's my fault Sam was who he was today. He had to give up all his dreams because of me. All I have to do is just leave Sam so that he can continue his life the way he wants to.

What was the point of trying to keep this relationship together if from the start it wasn't supposed to happen? Even Sam hated him now. But before he left he wanted to sort it all out with Sam first. That's the right way to do it, so that in the future there will not be any 'if'. All he needed to do now was to cool his mind down.

Dean grabbed his car keys, put on his coat and boots and left. He didn't have any specific place to go, so he just drove blindly wherever the road led him. It started to rain while Dean was inside the car, and it was coming down harder with every mile he drove.

He was driving the car beyond a safe speed. He had no clue about this since his mind was occupied with the other stuff. Suddenly, without warning, he lost control of the car, crashing into a large tree by the side of the road. He was losing out to the darkness and all he could think of was everything he'd be unable to tell Sam now. For a moment, he hoped he'd have a few minutes to just look at Sam's face for the last time. With that thought in mind, the darkness finally took over him.

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All comment will be treasured by me. Part 2 will come soon in a few days. I promise i will update the last part of the story before 2008. So keep it coming and Merry Christmas everyone!

**Thanks a million to my beta, deej1957, for fixing every thing for me. All the advised and suggestions given from you were deeply appreciated by me, would love to work with you again if you are willing. (Applause) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Merry Little Christmas Joy (Part 2)**

**Author:** toyatezuka

**Beta:** deej1957

**Characters:** Dean/Sam, John, Bobby

**Warning:** Mpreg, Slash

**Summary:** Life is not what everyone expects it to be but a little miracle can change everything and turn life's to full of brightness. Since it Christmas, a little miracle might just be possible.

**Message:** Last part of the story. Now it completes. Comment is appreciated though I never receive it for this story…

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_Bobby's House_

"What the hell you doing here so early in the morning?" Bobby asked, a look of surprise on his face. Sam just shrugged his shoulders as Bobby stepped aside to let him in. He walked into the living room and sat at the couch looking miserable.

"Speak," Bobby ordered after he settled himself in the nearest chair positioning himself to face Sam.

"I got an offer from Stanford to continue on from where I stopped. This is the last chance for me, but with Dean's condition, it just makes it impossible. I can't leave him here. He has no one to depend on except me and I don't want to let him suffer alone. I want to be there for the baby and him." Sam finally looked into Bobby eyes.

"It seems you've already made up your mind to stay behind, so that's good news, right?" Bobby looked puzzled.

"The problem is, if I tell Dean about this, he'll tell me to go and I can't say 'no' to him; he has this thing about him that make people hard to say no to him. I don't want to enjoy my life at Stanford while Dean is suffering here and he'll never let me know even if there will be any problems in the future because he doesn't want to burden me with anything," Sam said.

"It will be better if you're just open about this matter to Dean. I'm sure that both of you can figure this out. Give Dean more credit, because he's much stronger than you think he is," Bobby pointed out.

Sam was silent after hearing what Bobby said. Finally his face lightened up a little and he began to stand up. "You're right, Bobby. We can discuss this together like we always do. I'm going back home now." Sam grabbed his coat and was reaching the door when suddenly John came in.

The flustered looking John was more disturbed after he saw Sam. John had no idea what had come over him. After receiving Sam's Stanford letter, he made up his mind to target Dean to give up Sam and the easy way was to hurt him mentally. So after he saw Sam drive off he quickly followed his plan.

So far he'd succeeded, but during his long drive back home, he couldn't shake the bad feeling that he was doing something wrong. He loved Dean and Sam equally though it may not seem so. It hurt him more when he saw the wounded look Dean gave him after he said the hurtful words to him but he knew that Dean respected him too much to fight back.

Without warning John cried out in front of Sam. John knelt down before Sam, shocking the living hell out of both Bobby and Sam. Sam bent down to help John up but he refused to be helped.

Bobby, who had been John's lover since Mary's death, took John into his arms while letting him cry his heart out. Bobby patiently stroked the younger man's hair saying sweet words to calm John down. Sam, who had been watching John's meltdown, felt the old man's sorrow.

"Hey dad, it's okay. Let the tears come out so you feel much better." Sam gently talked to John, which only made John cry harder.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy. I thought that if I did this I'd be able to make you guys happier, but it ended up the other way round. I'm so sorry for hurting Dean. I really am." John gazed up at Sam.

After hearing what John said, Sam grabbed his father's shirt and shoved him against the wall. "What did you to Dean, dad? How dare you do that behind my back? You know Dean's pregnant and not as fit as he used to be. He get's stressed out easily. Just last week when I had a fight with him, he tried to kill himself, he's not emotionally stable." Sam glared at John while shouting his heart out.

John looked at Sam with wide eyes after he heard about Dean's emotional condition. He hadn't known anything about that. After Sam let go of John, he slowly slid down the wall still in shock. Bobby, who had been listening to this, could fell both men's pain. Bobby cradled John in his arms while rocking slowly.

Sam took out his phone to check on Dean. He'd totally forgotten that he'd left the house while fighting with Dean. He was afraid that Dean was going to hurt himself again just like the last time. He was shocked to find his phone was off. He didn't remember turning it off, but most have at some point.

Without wasting any more time, he switched on his phone just to receive all Dean voice mails. It took several minutes to get though all Dean's messages and when he was done listening, all Sam could do was cry.

He couldn't believe he'd left Dean when he needed him the most. It just tore his heart apart hearing Dean begging Sam to come home, to come back to him. He was startled from his thoughts when his phone started ringing.

With shaking hands Sam took the call. "Hello, may I speak to Mr Winchester, please?" the caller asked.

"Yes, this is Sam Winchester, " Sam answered with the hint of curiosity in his voice.

"I'm sorry but I have a bad news for you. Mr Dean Winchester was sent to the hospital today at 3.25 pm. You may come to General hospital now if you want to know more about the patient,." the caller broke the news gently to Sam.

Hospital? Dean in the hospital. It took Sam some time to register the thought into his head. After the news finally hit him he felt his soul leaving him. "What's wrong with him. How many sleeping pills did he take? Is he going to be okay?" Sam asked the caller without giving time for answers.

"Mr Winchester isn't here because of any pills. He had a bad accident while driving this evening. As you know, it's raining heavily this evening and somehow Mr Winchester lost control of the car and crashed head-on into a tree. One of the tree branches manages to puncture his chest cavity, very near his heart. He's still not stable yet, but the doctors are with him right now." The caller explained all the detail Sam needed to know right now.

"Thank you. I'll be right there" Sam hung up and blindly got out of the house without looking at Bobby or John who had been staring at him during the entire conversation

Somehow Bobby managed to get all the bad news out of Sam before the distraught young man could get in his car. All three men were pale with fear over what had happened to Dean, and together Bobby and John got Sam into the car.

_The hospital._

Dean was being supported by the machines beside him since he unable to breath on his own. He looked as pale as paper and the rise and fall of his chest was the only thing indicating that Dean was still alive.

Doctors had been coming in and out of the room all night. Dean's condition was not as life threatening now compared to when he was bought in that evening due to the operation removing the tree branch that was so dangerously close to his heart.

One valve of Dean's heart was damaged from the incident but he would still be able to love, albeit not as fit as he used to be. The doctor had already told Dean about this when he woke up a few minutes ago. Now Dean was sleeping again, Exhausted. Luckily he wrapped his hand around his belly during the accident. Due to this the baby was saved.

Sam reached the hospital soon after that, but he left Dean to rest when he found out Dean had just gone back to sleep, going to search for the doctor instead. The doctor explained about Dean condition and answered all Sam's questions. When Sam had no further questions, the doctor excused himself.

Bobby and John had been standing beside Sam the whole time he spoke with the doctor, but waited outside the room when Sam went inside, giving both boys some privacy during the drive John had told both Sam and Bobby what he'd said to Dean.

Sam still couldn't find a place in his heart to forgive John for what he said to Dean. John totally understood that and gave Sam time ; he was willing to wait as long as it took, certain he'd eventually receive forgiveness from his younger son. All he needed to do now was ask forgiveness from Dean, because, if not, his mind would never find the peace it needed.

John was willing to do anything to have both his sons back in his life again. And this time, he promised himself that he was going to change for the better, for both his sons, Bobby and his future grandchild.

Sam closed the door softly and went to take a seat beside Dean. He slowly took a limp hand and held it carefully with both hands. He needed to make some kind of connection with Dean or he was afraid he was going to lose his mind soon.,

Right them, Dean slowly opened his eyes and looked at Sam.

He tried to take his hand back but Sam refused to let go. Dean took a deep breath, trying to prevent the tears from falling from his eyes. The operation had been painful, but looking at Sam right now hurt even more.

"Hey," Sam said softly. He gently combed backed Dean's hair with fingers while his other hand still held on to Dean's hand. "I'm so sorry for leaving like that. You don't know how much I hate myself right now for being careless with you…." Sam stopped midway, trying to keep his emotions under control.

Dean couldn't bear the look of pain on his brother's face. "Both of us were at fault here, Sammy. I already forgave you and I hope you can somehow find a place in your heart to forgive me, too." Dean tightened his fingers around Sam's hand.

"You know I'll always forgive you, Dean. We just need to forget about this accident and start all over again after you get better. I promise, I swear on my life, that I will treasure you and love you forever till the day I die. Nothing can stop me from loving you," Sam pledged to Dean.

Sam wiped Dean's tears away as Dean began to speak. "I have a confession to make. I know about your offered to go to Stanford. I know you were worried about that. I won't force you to go if you don't want to, because I know won't make you happy. I'll respect whatever decision you make."

Sam was so proud of the way Dean handled the problems. Somehow Dean had become more mature. That was when Sam gave Dean the dimpled smile he loved so much. "Bobby was right. I should have given you more credit."

"What you talking about? What credit" Den asked, looking confused.

"I'll tell you about that some other time. Right now, you just close your eyes and rest," Sam said. After a last glance at Dean, Sam let himself out of the room.

Not long after that, John went inside though he still wasn't sure if being here was a good idea. Dean opened his eyes when he heard the door open again. His body tensed and the machine gave out a quick beeping sound. John noticed this and went over to Dean's side to calm him down.

" Relax, son. I'm just here to talk to you, to ask you to forgive me for what I said to you earlier. But if you don't want to talk to me I understand. I'll just leave now, okay?" John quickly walked to the door but stopped when Dean called out to him.

"Stay and talk to me. I promise I'll calm down. Please don't leave, yet," Dean begged, while trying to straighten himself up to a sitting position. John rushed over and helped Dean to sit up while putting an extra pillow to support his back.

Dean shut his eyes tight to let the stabbing pain from his wound ease a bit , then he opened his eyes to see his dad staring at him with a worried expression. "Why are staring at me like that?" Dean angrily shouted at John while pressing his hand to his chest to relax his heart.

"Like what?" John was confused at Dean sudden angered toward him.

"You looked like you actual care about me. I know you don't so move on to the topic you want to talk about and get the hell out of my face. I'm sorry if I'm not dead yet. You must have been disappointed," Dean shouted out, pressing harder again his heart that was beginning to hurt.

John looked closed to tears and that just made Dean hurt more because he loved his father too much to even hold a grudge against what he did to him earlier . But what had been said couldn't be undone. He tried to apologize but no words come out

Dean was even more confused when the doctor and nurses came rushing in while his father was being pushed away to a corner. He realized that all the frantic movements were about him because the darkness was already taking over him again.

John could hear Dean calling him but he was unable to walk to him because the bed was surround by the doctor and nurses trying to bring Dean back to life when his heart gave up on him.

John just stood there, helpless, when a hand wrapped around his giving him the comfort he needed. He'd known Bobby was beside him without needing to turn around. John turned towards Sam trying to apologize for what happened but was cut down when Sam gave him the "I understand" look.

John broke down again for the second time that day. He felt horrible for what he'd done to his sons' life so far, and instead of being angry with him, both of his sons had maturely done the right thing by thinking before making any decisions they might later regret.

After what seems like forever, the doctor managed to save Dean. The doctor warned them not to get Dean all worked up again. Bobby and Sam waited outside to give John some time with Dean.

John sat beside Dean again while softly holding Dean's hand without waking him up. What John didn't know, was that Dean was actually awake.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, son, but please believe me when I said that I really didn't mean anything I said when I came to your house. I wasn't thinking straight; I love you and Sam equally. I was tougher with you because I didn't want you to grow up unable to protect yourself against the world. I wanted you to grow up to be a strong man, but I guess you think differently. I could never hate you Dean. Not even for a second. I just hope you gave me a chance to be the man that you and Sam want me to be." John softly kissed Dean hand.

Dean's tears escaped from his closed eyes after hearing that he was wronged all this time. His father actually did love him. Dean opened his eyes and cried his heart out but that just alarmed John who was going to press the button for help but was stopped by Dean.

"I'm fine, please don't pressed the button," Dean begged.

John immediately sat back again while wiping his son tears away. "You sure you don't need any help?" John wanted to make sure Dean was okay.

"I'll be fine if you don't call for helped because I don't want them to put me to sleep again." Dean smiled softly .

They sat there silently thinking about what to talk about next. Dean, who couldn't stand the silence, decided to break it. "I forgive you,." he blurted out.

John couldn't stop the tear from coming. "Thank you so much for giving me this chance, son."

"Everyone deserves a second chance and that's what I'm giving you. I'm tired of all this drama so I just want to correct it before the baby comes." Dean finally admitted the truth to his father . John nodded in agreement.

Bobby and Sam had been eavesdropping the whole time and couldn't stop grinning at each other. Finally, the family was backed together. Everything was going to be perfect and complete once the baby arrived.

The weather the next day was bright and sunny, when Dean's first contraction started. He'd been cuddling with Sam and he whimpered at the pain, more in surprise than anything else .

Sam quickly sat up straight. " Are you okay?" Sam searched Dean face for an answer.

"I'm fine, just in labor for now," Dean grinned at Sam after the first contraction ended . Sam jumped off the bed and shouted for help. Dean laughed at Sam's frantic actions, then hissed when the second contraction began.

"Aren't the contractions coming too fast? Are you sure this is normal?" Sam asked in a worried voice.

"I'm a pregnant guy and there's nothing normal about that. I'm a rare case so anything unusual is actual something normal, " Dean explained in a calm tone.

Listening to what Dean said calmed Sam down; he realized Dean was trying to be calm for his same and was grateful for that. The doctor came into the room to check on Dean. The good news was that Dean was in fact in labor. Bad news was Dean's labor was going so fast that it may not be a good thing because it wasn't a normal case.

The nurse hooked Dean up to a machine that would monitor his contractions, as the doctor left the room with a grin, saying he'd see them when the little one was ready to make it's appearance.

Once Dean was settled, the nurse left, leaving Dean and Sam alone in the room. "You know that this will be our last time to be alone. After the baby's born there will three of us, right?" Sam said.

"I know, but it's going to be fine. We have Bobby and dad to take care of the baby if we need some time to be alone. I'm sure they'll be thrilled to have the baby all to themselves," Dean said with a smile on his face as he imagined the scene in his mind.

" You're right. I already asked the nurse to tell both of them. I guess they'll be in soon. Dean's contractions were coming closer and closer together and Sam was getting worried. Periodically he wiped away the sweat on Dean's face while saying encouraging words to him.

The nurse came back in and put an oxygen mask over Dean's face to help with his breathing. This was taking a big toll on his injured heart Sam slowly rubbed Dean's belly that was right now stone hard. Dean managed once in a while to throw Sam some smiles to ensure Sam that everything was going to be fine soon.

Bobby and John arrived a few minutes later and were watching Dean from the corner of the room, both with identical worried looks . The pain was getting too intense for Dean to handle, and he couldn't help the whimpers and moans that escaped him.

Dean was breathing deeply into the breathing masked for more air. It was getting stuffy around him and he was getting tired from contractions. His heart felt like it going to pop out of his chest at any moment. He grabbed at his chest when a stabbing pain suddenly appeared.

Sam tried to rub Dean's chest but it wasn't lessening the pain. After Sam pressed the button for help Dean grabbed Sam's hand. "Sam you have to listen carefully to what I'm going to tell you. You have to promise me that you'll take care of our baby and give him or her all the love they deserve and that you'll move on. Please promise me this, Sam,." Dean begged with tears swimming in his eyes.

"Dean, please don't talk like that. You're going to be there with me to take care of the baby. You're going to live to send our child to college and to see him or her married and have their own children. We're going to live and grow old together," Sam promised, his eyes filled with hope. .

Before Dean could say anything several orderlies came into the room. It was time for the baby to arrive and Dean was wheeled to the operating room while Sam, Bobby and John were asked to wait outside.

Three hours passed before a cry was heard The doctor at last came to meet them. "You have a beautiful healthy daughter, but I'm sorry to say that Dean is now in a coma due to the shock. I can't say what his chances are but miracles do happen and all you can do now is pray for his recovery."

The doctor left after giving them news. The three of them were left alone with their thoughts. After Dean was move to a different room, the three of them stood around the room unwilling to look at the battered looking Dean.

In the next few days Sam doesn't leave Dean's side unless it's to use the restroom or eat. Sam hasn't looked at their daughter, nor has he asked to hold her. Dean and Sam had chosen Joy Mary Winchester as a name if the baby turned out to be a girl, and that was the name John put down on the birth certificate.

The thought of losing Dean to get Joy was unbearable for Sam. One day when Bobby and John had gone down for lunch , Joy was left in the room with the parents since she usually had an afternoon nap during that time. But somehow this time she woke up before the two men returned from lunch.

Joy let out a loud wail, asking for attention and to be picked up by someone. Sam, angry and unable to stand her cries ,walked to the small portable crib but his anger was quickly washed away as he had his first look at his daughter. With her green eyes and full lips she reminded him of Dean.

She looked so much like a mini Dean that Sam can't help but cry. All this time he was ignoring his daughter because of his selfishness; he was no better than what his dad used to be after their mother was jilted. Sam gently picked up Joy and held her in his arms smiling.

Joy gave last whimper and settled right back to sleep with a pout on her face. Sam chuckled at that; it was the same look Sam would get from Dean if he ignored Dean for too long. Out of the corner of his eyes, Sam caught a small movement from the bed. He moved slowly to the bed with a heavily beating heart.

Without warning Dean opened his eyes and searched the room before stopping at the person he'd been looking for: Sam. Sam's day brightened when Dean gave him a weak but warm smile inviting him to come nearer. He rushed to Dean and cried on Dean's shoulder while holding Joy in his arms.

Dean patiently patted Sam's face. After Sam poured his sadness out, he finally stopped crying. He wiped his tears away fiercely and gently gave Joy to Dean who gave her the most gentle smile Sam had ever seen from him before.

Bobby and John were witnessing everything from the door, and quietly left the room to let Dean, Sam and Joy have their first family time together. Joy was released three days after that. Dean was unable to come back home in time for Christmas but demanded that Sam, Bobby and John celebrate it with Joy at home since it would be her first Christmas

But what Dean didn't know was that all three of them had a surprise set up for him. While Dean went for x-rays, the three of them decorated Dean room with lots of Christmas décor, including a small Christmas tree

When Sam pushed the wheelchair bound Dean into the room, Dean was shocked to see the Christmas preparations. All he could do was cry with happiness. The men looked at each other and knew they'd done the right thing.

"I'm sorry that I can't give you a Christmas present Sam, I really…"

Dean was cut off by Sam. "Dean you already gave me the greatest gift of all." Sam pointed at Joy who was being held by her smiling grandfather.

Dean nodded in agreement. "Merry Christmas, Sammy." Dean said.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Dean."

After everyone had wished Merry Christmas to each other, the presents were distributed among all of them. Yes, they may not have been able to celebrate at home like they'd expected to, but to have all your family with you was already good enough to call any place you are at, home.

_End of story _

So since that day onward, I received another special Christmas present that I forever will treasure. You can say I add on to my favourite Christmas gift. That was my Christmas story for you. Merry Christmas to all of you, may there be a little miracle for everyone this Christmas.

_Ending with a song, _'This Christmas'

* * *

The end of my mpreg oneshot Christmas special specially written for acidquill. Just for you and only you. Going to keep crossing my finger until I heard from you. All comment will be treasured by me. So keep it coming and Happy Holidays everyone!

**Thanks a million to my beta, deej1957, for fixing every thing for me. All the advised and suggestions given from you were deeply appreciated by me, would love to work with you again if you are willing. (Applause) **


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